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The Zoo 2: Tuesday
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The Zoo 2 - Tuesday (Disk 2 of 2).adf
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KIDFILES.ZOO
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1993-06-07
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*!EOM
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2426Y00F07futurax24Y00J1Y00C4N"Geeky Grade School Kids"
2406Y00C3NFishboy/Panda
0819Y00F05pearl08Y00J0N
0806Y00C4NYou can buy X-files T-shirts. This in itself is a sin of the most horrific
0801Nproportions but not as bigger travesty as what I have predicted. Some of you
0801Nmay have noticed a worrying trend in which shit cartoons are remade with the
0801Nmain characters as babies or children, (Muppet babies, A Pup Named Scooby Doo
0801N(Or something...)). This must stop or I fear it may spread to 'real' TV
0801Nprograms. The first victims I fear will be Chris Carter and friends with:
0801NThe Kid Files (or something equally moronic) in which Mulder and Scully are:
0801N"Geeky Grade School Kids who are always getting into trouble", er... great!
0801NEach episode they "Indulge in all sorts of zany antics and thwart the evil
0801Nschool bully while learning a valuable lesson about life". What valuable
0801Nlesson would that be? When out of script ideas have it rain frogs and write
0801Nsome utter bollocks about devil worship or voodoo?
0806Y00C5N
0806Y08C1NMULDER: Look Scully, a trail of footprints.
0811Y00C6Y08C1NSCULLY: I'm scared, I do not believe, I will not follow them.
0811Y00C5Y08C1NMULDER: Not even for a 'Scully Snack'?
0811Y00C6Y08C1NSCULLY: Muummm...... Ahhhhhhhh.... Yummmmm....
0811Y00C2Y07C1NBULLY: Hah hah hah, hello nerds,
0811Y00C5Y08C1NMULDER: Leave us alone,
0811Y00C2Y07C1NBULLY: Not until you tell me how to dry my hair by simply brushing a paper
0801Nthin towel across it trench coat features!
0811Y00C5Y08C1NMULDER: Never!
0801N
0801NAnd so on. Plots could go as follows:
0801N
0806Y08C1NMULDER: Arrghhh! Look! Its the fish monster!
0811Y00C6Y08C1NSCULLY: Zoikes.(Mulder and Scully run so fast that their legs blur, the fish
0801Nmonster hobbles after them like a arthritic elephant with three legs and yet
0801Nstill manages to be moving at the same speed as they are).
0811Y00C4Y13C1NFISH MONSTER: Rarrghhh! (Mulder and Scully run into a room and slam the door
0801Nshut, the camera remains on the fish monster who opens the door to reveal
0801Nthat Mulder has a desire to cross dress and is pretending to be either a
0801Nfemale hair dresser / waitress.)
0811Y00C4Y14C1NFISH MONSTER: Rarrgh?
0811Y00C5Y08C1NMULDER: (in dodgy falsetto) Ahh, Hello sir, would you like a quick
0801Ntrim / the chefs special?
0811Y00C4Y13C1NFISH MONSTER: Rarrgh? (forced into a seat by Scully).
0801N
0801NAt the end the monster would be trapped ingeniously and the kids would pull
0801Nits mask off revealing 'Old Mr Johnson', but alas they can't actually
0801Nconvict him because they haven't got any evidence.
0801N
0811Y00C3Y12C1NMULDERS DAD: So Fox, What have you learned today?
0811Y00C5Y07C1NMULDER: Er... Erm... Er...
0811Y00C3Y13C1NMULDERS DAD: Jesus! Its raining frogs!
*!EOF